Some Men Have Vaginas
Disclaimer: This probably isn't going to be the best thing I've ever written because I am rather angry but I hope it helps someone in some way or at least makes them laugh.
What I get asked a lot about is the different types of genders and can you be FTM and gay and so on. So I decided to write a summary/FAQ kind of thing about the many types of gender and how to approach them without being a complete t***.
Right, so first off are the basics of transgender. Plain simple binary male-to-female and female-to-male. Well I don't know about you but I think the titles might give away what's going on here.
What we all need to understand is that gender and sex are two very different things. Sex is what's going on in your pants and gender is what's going on up there. Mind over matter is a big part of transgenderism (if that's what you want to call it) and also accepting it. People have to deal with the fact that some men have vaginas and some girls don't and should really just get over that.
If you are unable to do so, I suggest you just leave because you are wasting your time and my time.
Now genderqueer terms are a lot more complex.
Genderqueer is an umbrella term for all alliterative non-binary gender types. Such as;
- Bigender, pangender - both male and female
- Non-gendered, genderless, agender - neither a man nor woman
- Genderfluid - moving between genders
- Third gender or other-gendered - people who don't name their gender
All of these overlap and blur into each other to create the big ball of wibbly-wobbly-gendery-bendery stuff.
Pronouns are always very important when talking to anyone who is trans. For people like myself (a binary gender) we'd like to be referred to as he/she. Whereas because genderqueer is non-binary, pronouns are tricky to place and can cause a lot of upset. So it's best to go with either their name or 'them', 'they', their' etc.. Just try to be as gender-neutral as possible.
Hopefully you are a little less confused on the terms and such. Now I want to talk about how to not be a complete and utter idiot to someone who is trans, because this is something people fail to do to me on a daily basis.
You all need to get into your head that what I do with my body is none of your beeswax and it is very concerning how much you all seem to care about my genitals.
You do not walk up to someone after just meeting them and then get into a full-scale conversation about what's going on down there so why is it any different because I'm trans? Oh wait, that's right, it's not.
"Hey I just met you and this is crazy but let's talk about your penis."
And another thing, people telling me what and who I am because of said genitals. Just stop. What do you gain from pointing out the obvious that yes I was born female. Oh well done, gold star for you. Did you manage to figure that one out all by yourself? Aren't you clever?
It gets worse; you'd think that it'd just be narrow-minded cisgendered people who gave me a hard time but it's not, it's other transgenders too! Now this happens a lot less with genderqueer or non-binary transgenders (TGs) because they tend to not really care. Whereas many binary TGs are so obsessed with gender roles that anything that they feel is outside their gender comfort-zone is wrong. For example, I've had people have a go at me on Tumblr because my hair was too long and because I'm just a little bit camp. Oh, sorry transition police.
I always find it funny how most of the people like that tend to not pass as well as I do because I'm a sick twisted little child.
I am completely comfortable with the fact that I am not a manly man; I am a comic book reading, fan-girling, Harry Potter and Dr Who-obsessed, cake loving little nerd and I like who I am.
Gender is a spectrum; get over it.