Gasping For Air
The house I live in has become haunted,
Not by ghosts or ghouls,
But by memories that hurt my heart,
The day when they shouted at me,
When my family turned on me like a pack of wolves,
The day my soul's sister attacked me,
The tears I cried all those lonely nights.
When I came home from school,
Knowing my parents were going to row,
I sat on the shed roof rocking back and forth,
Waiting for it to be over,
Wishing things could be different.
I used to have my father,
But then he went away,
Now I'm alone in my pain,
Crying alone as I always have,
Once a week I have to hear their joy,
Listen to their voices,
Talking about their lives,
Their joy and laughter,
Without me being there as I once was.
I feel like I'm drowning and about to run out of air,
I fear the end,
That I might one day disappear,
No longer having a family to turn to,
To them I am nothing but dirt,
No, now to them I'm even lower than that,
I feel the pain in my heart,
And the tears that I refuse to let out.
Once a week I vent out my misery,
The love of my life holds me close,
Listens as I tear myself apart,
Tear my soul,
Tear my heart,
As I let the misery seep in,
Let the darkness take me over as I lose the last of my air,
As I fall into the darkness of death.
I no longer fear it,
I no longer fear being alone,
I just feel the emptiness consume me,
The misery no longer has any hold,
The depression does fold,
And I am finally at peace,
At the bottom of the deepest pool ever.