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Fourballs & Sore Balls

Posted by archifCLICarchive from National - Published on 06/10/2010 at 13:09
2 comments » - Tagged as Comedy, Education, Health, Sport & Leisure

  • Balls

Does anyone else ever get the feeling that the human body can be an incredible let down from time to time?

During my 23 years I’ve always been somewhat uncomfortable in my own skin, and now it appears that the framework in which I spend my life has finally decided to reciprocate my feelings of distain at a rather inappropriate time.

You see, Monday welcomes back the third years at the University of Glamorgan and I'm sat watching The Ryder Cup. I went to Heath Hospital early yesterday morning with a stabbing sensation in two particular anatomical areas that renders walking (and general day to day life) a more horrifying experience than usual.

These pains had been troubling me for a few days, to the point of sleep deprivation. So, off I went to the out of hours GP. The doctor ruled out the Big C almost immediately, which was a relief. I don't care how laid back you claim to be, when it's two o'clock in the morning and you've felt like somebody has been attempting to use your veg as fishing tackle for two days, you find yourself googling the unimaginable. 

The result is that I've been prescribed some heavy duty painkillers and antibiotics to take with plenty of rest. Attending lectures, he suggested, would be a struggle as the medication could cause extreme tiredness. I can confirm upon consumption that the effects are indeed evident. Such a lethargic demeanour is typical for a Sunday, sure, however it has not been preceded by a typical Saturday night in Oceana.

So here I am, spaced out on painkillers in front of the fourballs while my sore balls are on ice. 

Golf, by the way, is infinitely more entertaining while under the influence of medication. No Uni or work for me this week, my academic return has been postponed.

Side Note: It's 11am on Monday and already this spare time has handed me inspiration for a potential dissertation; (working title) The Core Purpose of Facebook. I intend the piece to conclude that the popular social networking site is indeed the manifestation of that sinking feeling in the pit of the stomach when you realise the people you shared classrooms with during school all have great jobs they love or have travelled the world, had kids, met their soul mates or even married.

All while you sit on the sofa in your pants, clutching your nether regions and eating stale Sugar Puffs from a saucepan.

Info  Health  Health and Body Matters

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IMAGE: you & me, me & you by VJ_fliks

2 CommentsPost a comment

CeefaxOfLife

CeefaxOfLife

Commented 68 months ago - 6th October 2010 - 13:09pm

Best. Title. Ever.

Tom_Bevan

Tom_Bevan

Commented 68 months ago - 6th October 2010 - 17:19pm

This. Is. Fantastic.
The title drew me in and the contents made me howl in pain and laughter. very well written- one of the best things ive read anywhere in a long while. Good work Jack_Alex and get better soon! Sugarpuffs from a saucepan? I'm in...

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