Welcome to The Sprout! Please sign up or login

CLIC's Crisis Revealed

Posted by SamuelPatterson from Cardiff - Published on 28/03/2011 at 11:25
18 comments » - Tagged as Creative Writing, People, Topical

  • No Comment

Yn Gymraeg

Attention all CLICers!

We find ourselves facing an epidemic bigger than any we have faced before.

Yes, even bigger than the recent poetry hike that now swarms the front pages of theSprout. I admit I myself have even been swept up in the poetry crisis.

But the crisis we face now is more dangerous and more deadly than any we as a community have faced before! We were warned, but like fools we ignored the omens.

Today, my fellow CLICers, my family, my community, I beg you listen so we may come together to overcome this disaster that is leaving every one of us disheartened and feeling unloved:

The lack of commenting.

CLIC, as I’m sure you are aware, is like a community. We upload things we want to share with our virtual family in the hope that it will bring us closer together. But I fear, my friends, that this is not the reality that we had hoped for.

Everywhere I look, I find a lonely page here and there that lies awake for hours in the hope that someone will provide company for it in the form of a comment. The next day I return, only to find this poor page still lonesome and without protection.

I have tried, dear friends, to comment on as much as I can! But like world hunger, this problem, which some experts say outdoes world hunger, cannot be solved by a small number of people. We ask that you all come together to help solve this crisis.

I recently interviewed Dr R E Marc, an expert in the field of Commentology. We discussed his theories for the recent crisis. He believes that “a significant increase in the profusion of a homosapien’s daily itinerary has subsequently led to the sharp decline in an individual’s ability to comment”.

After consulting a thesaurus, I found myself agreeing with Dr Marc.

We began to discuss possible recovery plans for CLIC’s epidemic and how “a simple colon followed by the character ‘D’ can significantly increase individuation of the author which substantially broadens the probability of multiple subsequent articles generating an inverse negative return margin of three quarters of a half of one per cent”.

Meaning that leaving a simple comment such as “nice job” or “cool article” will lead to an increased likelihood of that particular writer penning more brilliant stuff, which will lead to increased funding from the council when they realise CLIC’s true potential. (Disclaimer – the council is not obliged to give us more funding, no matter how much you comment.)

Imagine if you will, or humour us if you won’t, that you have just written an article and then the next day you find it posted up on CLIC or other local site. You go back the following day to read all the charming views people have of your whimsical piece of humour and/or seriousness, only to find, to your despair, that nobody has written anything in response.

Imagine how you would feel if, having worked so hard on your article, you discovered that no-one has said anything about it. All your hard work has turned up no results, no feedback, no views nor any praise.

Everyone likes to feel important and that their work is being recognised! And you can help make someone feel special by leaving a simple remark such as “awesome!” or “great stuff”.

Please turn your attention to the accompanying video, with was expertly made by my dear friend CrazyDistortion. We shall wait for you, but please do it quickly as this crisis is worsening every day!

Simply by donating three minutes a day to commenting, you can do your part to help combat this crisis and bring an end to lonely articles. Thank you for reading this urgent message. And please, leave your comments, not only on this article, but on all articles.

Thank you. And good luck!

Anchorman: Stormer007
Cameraman & editor: CrazyDistortion Sub-Editor

IMAGE: Annelore Schneider

18 CommentsPost a comment

EmilySprout

EmilySprout

Commented 62 months ago - 28th March 2011 - 11:44am

Hahaha, Sam this is amazing! Well done to you and CrazyDistortion :)

cindyCLIC

cindyCLIC

Commented 62 months ago - 28th March 2011 - 11:49am

I laughed out very loud while watching the video so I am donating a few moments to write this. I love the sounds of running water and the scenes of dog-stroking. What a great piece of work!

CeefaxOfLife

CeefaxOfLife

Commented 62 months ago - 28th March 2011 - 11:58am

Should I not ask where you sourced that running water sound?

CrazyDistortion

CrazyDistortion

Commented 62 months ago - 28th March 2011 - 12:05pm

@CeefaxOfLife It was the tears of the articles that have no comments... They wanted to be heard, but not seen as they feel unloved...

Nah, it's from a pond thing. I got some lovely shots of the fish that were here too, but decided not to use 'cause it didn't match the rest of the video.

Nice work, Stormer007. We may collaborate again soon, maybe to tackle another problem facing the Clic network... no idea what, but one will surely arise soon. =].

SamuelPatterson

SamuelPatterson

Commented 62 months ago - 28th March 2011 - 12:47pm

Wow! This is amazing! I never expected this kind of awesome feedback!.... ok, yes I did but still haha! =P
Thanks all so much! Yes Cindy, that's my dog Charlie. The idea just sort of came to me and I ran with it! CrazyDistortion wanted a teddy bear, but I was like "No Way man!" =P

@CrazyDistortion Yeah totally man! This was so good! Thanks again for all your hard work! The video is amazing!

I'm so happy with this! And it seems to be working! 4 comments in little over an hour! Long live commenting!

CeefaxOfLife

CeefaxOfLife

Commented 62 months ago - 28th March 2011 - 13:28pm

Ha! Shame I love a good fish shot. Nice fade to white at the end BTW.

GeoffCLIC

GeoffCLIC

Commented 62 months ago - 28th March 2011 - 13:53pm

Commenting, the one activity we can all do, as a man who rarely comments, spends most of his sorry life in a world with out comment I completely understand the plight of the poor CLICers. So, heres my donation a hearty comment, a CLIC inspired comment, a long and cringeworthy comment - THANK YOU SAM you made me smile :)

Sprout Editor

Sprout Editor

Commented 62 months ago - 28th March 2011 - 15:31pm

I better leave a comment on this ;)

Thanks so much for all your commitment. Thanks too to CrazyDistortion.

emb789

emb789

Commented 62 months ago - 28th March 2011 - 15:36pm

Cool. :D

Jaque Thay

Jaque Thay

Commented 62 months ago - 28th March 2011 - 16:06pm

Aha, I like it. I think Dr R E Marc should be praised for the level of response he's encouraged here.

neilramsden

neilramsden

Commented 62 months ago - 28th March 2011 - 21:02pm

I applaud the message behind this heartfelt video, and I'd like to make a suggestion for the comments: personally I'd welcome constructive criticism, or discussion. I know that we're all a community on here, and that we are all too nice to criticise, but I love a good debate on a subject (especially film) so if anybody disagrees with a point I feel we should say why with our comments. This site is such a great way to get our work read, and we can only learn and improve with a bit of genuine feedback as well as compliments.

MrDave

MrDave

Commented 62 months ago - 28th March 2011 - 22:38pm

Haha very good man rather liked the sinister dog feel at the end ... a rather big dog for that kind of thing though

SamuelPatterson

SamuelPatterson

Commented 62 months ago - 29th March 2011 - 10:26am

Oh wow! Thank you all so much for the supportive and amazing comments!
@Geoff I'm glad I made you smile =) Smiling is one of my favourite passtimes. I should do it more often.
@Jaque Yes, he was a rather eccentric man. But he's been observing CLIC for a while and felt it wise to get in touch with me =P
@Neil I completely agree with you! As long as your constructive with your feedback and criticism, I think it should be fine. Although it's kinda hard for some people to say negative things =P
@MrDave Hehe, I love the dog thing =P It's my favourite part =)

P3

P3

Commented 62 months ago - 4th April 2011 - 12:44pm

The computer I am on atm plays no sound so I will revist when I have sound lol, but I am so supported of your mini campaign. Your so devoted to the cause of comments Sam it's great :)

SamuelPatterson

SamuelPatterson

Commented 62 months ago - 5th April 2011 - 14:40pm

That's fine P3 =) Thanks greatly for your support. And I love how this is still on the front page of the featured articles even after 9 days! XD

Sambow

Sambow

Commented 61 months ago - 15th April 2011 - 21:45pm

:D

DanielleNicole15

DanielleNicole15

Commented 53 months ago - 28th December 2011 - 21:11pm

This is good Sam! I think you used to go to my school :)

SamuelPatterson

SamuelPatterson

Commented 53 months ago - 29th December 2011 - 15:32pm

Thank you Danielle. It's cool to know that this was the most viewed thing on theSprout of 2011. And I very well might've done, but without being able to post the name of our school on this site, and with no knowledge of what you look like, I've no way of confirming this... but if you recgonise me, then I probably did =D

Got something to say?

You must be logged in to post comments on this website.

Login or Register.

Please take a few minutes to complete this survey. It will help us find out how you use the website so we can keep improving it for you. Everyone who completes the survey will get the chance to win £50.