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Information » People in Your Life » Communication and When Things Go Wrong » Abuse



Abuse

Abuse can be a very difficult subject for people to talk about as it can be confusing and difficult to recognise that you are being abused. You might feel embarrassed or afraid to talk about it to anyone.

Abuse can take many forms:

  • Sexual abuse is where someone is touching you, or asking or forcing you to do things sexually that you don't want to do
  • Physical abuse is where someone is being violent towards you like punching or hitting you
  • Emotional abuse can be name-calling, threatening you or being cruel towards you
  • Neglect is another form of abuse which means not looking after you properly, like providing enough to eat or keeping you safe from harm

Sadly the person abusing you might be one of your parents, another family member or relative, an older child, family friend or even someone claiming to be one of your friends. It could also be an adult that you come into contact with.

Sexual abuse can be very confusing because quite often it is someone that you know and trust:

  • They might try to make you think that what is happening isn't wrong, that it is a special thing between you, a secret. They might give you presents, buy you things, take you out to places and give you lots of attention and compliments that make you feel good
  • They might tell you not to tell anyone or that people wouldn't believe you if you told them what is happening. They might threaten to hurt you or someone in your family if you tell anyone
  • They are saying or doing these things because they know what they are doing to you is wrong and they don't want to be caught
  • By forcing you or making you do things sexually, they are abusing your trust in them and harming you

Being abused in any way can make you feel frightened, alone, confused, ashamed, embarrassed, guilty and angry.

Everyone has the right not to be abused and to be offered protection from abuse and there are people who can and will help you.

Deciding to tell someone and finding help is an important step to making the abuse stop. It can be a difficult thing to do especially with the way it can make you feel but it only takes a moment of bravery and courage to tell someone to help prevent you from being abused again.

Getting help

Many people who are being abused worry that they will get into trouble or that their family won’t believe them if they told them what is happening. Remember, it is not your fault if you are being abused. You are in no way responsible for what is happening. There is always a way out of the problem and people you can talk to, you don’t have to keep it to yourself.

  • Choose someone you trust like a parent, a member of the family, a close friend or their parents, a teacher, a youth worker, doctor, your school nurse or a neighbour. If you find it difficult to talk about what's happening, write them a letter and talk about it after they have read it
  • If you don’t want to tell anyone close to you, there are special organisations dedicated to helping young people who are being abused or to help people who know someone who is being abused. These organisations are there to listen and help. They won't be shocked by anything you say, won’t judge you and will let you tell them in your own way
  • Unless they are worried you are in serious danger, anything you say will be in strict confidence and no-one needs to know that you spoke to them
  • Sometimes if they think your safety is at risk, they might take action to protect you but this can only happen if they know who you are and where you live
  • The person from the organisation will talk through what will happen if you decide to take action. You might for example need to tell the police or a doctor what has happened. Don’t worry, these people are all trying to help you and you won’t be in any trouble
  • Some young people worry that they will be split up from their family if they share what is happening. This will only happen if you are in serious danger by staying at home. Social services will always try and keep a family together if they can

Coping with what has happened

When you have told someone it is normal to feel relief but you might also feel a mixture of confusing emotions, feeling ashamed, embarrassed, guilty and angry by what has happened to you. It will take time for these feelings to pass and get better but you will feel better eventually.

Its important to express these feelings in some way, whether you continue to get support by talking to someone or perhaps write about what has happened and how it makes you feel. There are some support groups you can go to and online forums there to help you come to terms with what has happened to you.

Unfortunately abuse is something that happens to many people and you are not alone.

By stopping someone from abusing you and getting help you've shown courage and strength and this is something to be proud of.

6 CommentsPost a comment

chicken fc 69

Commented 31 months ago - 11th October 2013 - 09:29am

WELL WHY IS THE SEX AGE 16

TheWolvesArtist

Commented 31 months ago - 11th October 2013 - 09:38am

I agree don't rush it and also (cause i'm still young) it is kind of scary if you think about having sex under the age of 16 when you are not ready! And I agree with you about all the safe stuff cause the man you love could have a virus!

Cat Lover

Commented 31 months ago - 11th October 2013 - 09:45am

dont rush into it

giraffe123

Commented 31 months ago - 11th October 2013 - 09:46am

dont rush !!!!!

cantonrangers6969

Commented 31 months ago - 11th October 2013 - 09:49am

RIGHT THE SEX AGE SHOULD BE 12 AND OVER CAUSE IT WOULD BE FUN AND YOU CHOULD BY CONDOMS FOR YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND YOU CAN RUSH INTO IT AND EVEN IF YOU DONT LIKE IT YOU CAN STOP IT AND TRY AGAIN NEXT YEAR

ITChick

Commented 31 months ago - 14th October 2013 - 11:56am

Yes 16 is the legal age for sex but is this necessary? Between your teenage years you make your own decisions regardless of guidelines! Do not rush or feel pressured into sex, i think you know within yourself when the time is right.

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