Poem: Bristol Bus
I wrote this a few months ago whilst waiting for a bus in Bristol, curiously enough. It's one to be performed... feedback welcome.
Shuffle, brush past, speed walk by,
Pedal, push, float and fly,
Tracks click a nearby cry,
Joggers jog and drivers drive.
Grans with prams and gossip meet,
Look left, look right cross the street,
School kids blast a mobile beat,
Left, right a thousand feet.
Colour flash on concrete grey,
Bins tipped, post on its way,
A take out tea from caf,
Commute to work, not to play.
Shuffle, brush past, speed walk by,
Pedal, push, float and fly,
Tracks click a nearby cry,
Joggers jog and drivers drive,
Left and right and
My oh my.
From this spot by the canal,
I watch this city rush,
While I sit,
Sit and wait,
For a Bristol bus.
Info World, Europe, UK & Wales Transport Buses and Coaches
News Categories Creative Writing
IMAGE: hamster!
2 Comments – Postiwch sylw
SamuelPatterson
Rhoddwyd sylw 42 mis yn ôl - 6th November 2012 - 17:07pm
You're just fab Tommy B xP You know that don't you?
emb789
Rhoddwyd sylw 42 mis yn ôl - 6th November 2012 - 17:54pm
This is absolutely fabulous, just like you! I seriously love all of your writing. I have one suggestion, and it's just a suggestion, if you don't agree then that's fine (it is, after all, your poem)
My suggestion is this:
Instead of
"School kids blast a mobile beat,
Left, right a thousand feet."
try
"School kids blast a mobile beat,
Look left, look right, a thousand feet."
To me it seems to flow better. I look forward to reading more of your work!